The Worst Children's TV Shows Never Made
- Thread starter David bar Elias
- Start date
Given the amount of advert breaks on US television, avid viewers would require careful timing and great self-control.
We had a local station that showed movies for kids after school. The day before they showed a Shirley Temple movie. That day they showed A BOY AND HIS DOG with a young Don Johnson. NOT a kiddie film. Showed about 10-15 minutes and shut it down in the middle of the rape scene!
~The Doctor~
Hogwarts Preschool!
*****
"Now Rose, there's Scorpius Malfoy. Why don't you go say hello?"
"Mother, this isn't some stupid ploy by a hack writer to set up my love interest for the series, and the next eight movies, is it?"
"..."
*****
"Albie, you'll love preschool!"
"Oh, sure I will. You do realize what my fucking name is, don't you?"
"Albie, dear, it's not nice to say that word."
"What, realize? Because your husband might realize that he's married to a crazy psychotic groupie?"
"..."
*****
"Now Rose, there's Scorpius Malfoy. Why don't you go say hello?"
"Mother, this isn't some stupid ploy by a hack writer to set up my love interest for the series, and the next eight movies, is it?"
"..."
*****
"Albie, you'll love preschool!"
"Oh, sure I will. You do realize what my fucking name is, don't you?"
"Albie, dear, it's not nice to say that word."
"What, realize? Because your husband might realize that he's married to a crazy psychotic groupie?"
"..."
On of the worst things I saw for children's entertainment, through not designed as such, was Flashdance.
We had a local station that showed movies for kids after school. The day before they showed a Shirley Temple movie. That day they showed A BOY AND HIS DOG with a young Don Johnson. NOT a kiddie film. Showed about 10-15 minutes and shut it down in the middle of the rape scene!
I pulled that out of the Kiddy video section once and notified the Librarian. As I explained "The dog is a WWIII mutated miltary combat dog who finds women for his master to rape, kill, and eat, not necessarily in that order. The dog is the only decent human being in the movie".
I saw the premier at the 1974 World Science Fiction Convention. A great movie.
There was once an Australian made tv show about "Skippy", about a boy and his pet kangaroo.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skippy_the_Bush_Kangaroo
I suggest "Flippy", the simple, heartwarming tale of a boy and his fruitbat. For those not familiar with fruitbats, they have a five foot wingspan.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit_bat
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skippy_the_Bush_Kangaroo
I suggest "Flippy", the simple, heartwarming tale of a boy and his fruitbat. For those not familiar with fruitbats, they have a five foot wingspan.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit_bat
That's really funny. Bravo.
If the crazy psychotic groupie is Ginny Potter (nee Weasley), you'd really like the "Can't Stand H/G" thread at Fiction Alley (www.fictionalley.org IIRC). I've been lurking there lately to steal ideas for "Wrath of the Half-Blood Prince."
They HATE Ginny--she's either a possessive jealous maniac or a complete doormat for Harry ("Gin Bot").
In my opinion, the "Kids" version of anything. In the 1980s/90s, there was the bizarre trend of depicting cartoon figures from earlier in a younger version of themselves (examples are Scooby Doo Kids and the Flintstone Kids). I was so annoyed by it back then! And, you could produce some really really lousy TV shows simply by making a "kids" version of it. Imagine something like "The Conan Kids" (baby Conan with a huge big sword!) or "The He-Man Kids" (which would also be fighting a cute, child version of Skeletor, of course!
"The Dirty Dozen Babies"!
"Landmine Hop-Scotch"
"Different Is Bad: An After-School Special"
"The Kid's Weltreich Show", where they have a call-in segment for pre-teen audience members to denounce suspicious-acting adults in their lives.
"Different Is Bad: An After-School Special"
"The Kid's Weltreich Show", where they have a call-in segment for pre-teen audience members to denounce suspicious-acting adults in their lives.
That is funny, in a sick sort of way.
An idea I had: Kiddy Sex in the City. That show, only for an under-ten audience.
Also, a Battle Royale reality show, that spares no expense in making a totally realistic experience. The grand prize is making it home alive.