I don't know about that but once they've had the Revolution, putting Nap II on the throne wouldn't be a problem.
WI Napoléon II: Bourbon Hostage?
- Thread starter Kellan Sullivan
- Start date
as Joseph Bonaparte found out OTL, in 1830, there was zero support in France for a Bonaparte restoration. It only started rearing its head in 1840 after the Retour des Cendres and Louis Philippe's gaffes and becoming more conservative.
TTL, with Frankie being raised inside the Bourbon fold, there's no certainty that most "imperial" supporters wouldn't fall in with the Bourbon supporters (Charles X and Angoulême's plans for the monarchy were practically Napoléonic in some regards), and Bonapartism was closer to Legitimism than Orléanism. The republican Bonapartists would likely stay away from such a "fusion" anyway. But important to note that several prominent republicans- Lamartine, Hugo, among others- were supporters of Charles X until Louis Philippe came in, and that despite the uproar about "him being educated by Jesuits", Henri de Chambord's tutor was actually a Republican, who remained in place until they left Edinburgh for Prague.
Papa Don't Preach
Soundtrack: Jean Paul Égide Martini - De Profundis Clamavi, D Min [1]
May 1814
*courtyard of Les Tuileries* *we see "Monseigneur François" craning his neck up as watches the bronze horses of Saint Mark being removed from the top of the Arc du Triomphe de Caroussel [2] with his governess, Louise Charlotte de Montesquiou [3]
Monseigneur François [aka the King of Rome]: why are they doing that, Maman Quiou?
Maman Quiou: your grandfather has given the orders that the horses must be removed. To protect them.
François: protect them from what?
Quiou: the weather, Monseigneur. Copies will be made and put up.
*Salon Rose [4] of the Tuileries* *Louis XVIII is seated, talking to Madame Royal*
Footman: the most high and most powerful prince, His Royal Highness, Monsieur, Comte d'Artois. *few moments later* the most high and most powerful prince, his Serene Highness, Monseigneur le Duc d'Angoulême
Louis XVIII: *gives discreet eyeroll*
Artois: *bows and kisses his brother's hand* your Majesty. *kisses Madame Royal's hand* my most beloved daughter.
Louis XVIII: I trust there is a reason for your...rudeness, brother? *motions for them to close the doors*
Artois: I wish to know how long your Majesty wishes to continue this...farce.
Louis XVIII: what farce?
Artois: *gives him a look as though to say "you know what I'm talking about"*
Louis XVIII: you'll be relieved to hear that when we retire to Fontainebleau for the summer, the boy will not be accompanying us.
Angoulême: your Majesty wishes for him to remain in Paris, then?
Louis XVIII: he'll be sent to Rambouillet. To his mother.
Madame Royal: *vaguely disapproving* a mother whose misplacing of him led to this unfortunate scenario in the first place.
Louis XVIII: that may be, my dear. But she remains his mother.
Angoulême: then your Majesty intends to allow her to remain in France?
Louis XVIII: no. She will return to Vienna. She has already refused both mine and her father's suggestion that we seek an annulment of her marriage to Monsieur Bonaparte in order that she can remarry to your brother-
Madame Royal, Angoulême and Artois: *all look horrified at the idea*
Louis XVIII: *indifferently* it was the emperor who raised the idea. I could not refuse without risking insulting him. But it is decided that the boy will be sent to Rambouillet, and from there, he and his mother will journey to Parma [5].
Artois: *clearly irritable* your Majesty is a fool.
Louis XVIII: I have told you before, brother, I have no interest in the fortunes of our cousins in Spain- for they certainly had none in ours [6]
Artois: that is not what I speak of, your Majesty. You are willing to allow the boy to leave France?
Louis XVIII: you would have me keep him here?
Madame Royal, Angoulême and Artois: yes!
Louis XVIII: *to Madame Royal* so I should make him as your late brother? A flag for all who oppose me to wave around?
Madame Royal: *looks horrified - but not surprised - at the mention [7] of the verboten topic*
Louis XVIII: where would you suggest I keep him, brother? Vincennes? Perhaps I should allow Madame de Beauharnais [8] to take charge of his upbringing. Allow the Creole whore [9] to rear the child at Malmaison?
Angoulême: it would be safer than handing him to the Austrians, your Majesty.
Louis XVIII: to do that, I would be handing him to her protectress, the tsar. The emperor of Austria is at least...not siding with either the Orléans or Bernadotte.
Artois: that is hardly a reason to entrust him with a knife to put at our throats the minute we do something he doesn't like.
Louis XVIII: *exasperatedly* so what would you have me do with him then, brother? Perhaps- as the comte de La Bretèche suggests [10]- to have the boy disappeared like Richard the Third did to his nephews?
Artois: keep him close. Raise him here.
Louis XVIII: next you'll suggest that I give him to your pets, the Orléans, to raise
Madame Royal: *sensing the argument brewing* we'll raise him.
Louis XVIII, Artois: *both look at her in surprise*
Madame Royal: *half-sadly* perhaps this is why God decided that Louis and I cannot have children of our own...because He wishes for us to take in this child.
Louis XVIII: you are not serious, Madame, the-
Angoulême: it is time for us to do what your Majesty has always preached: unite- and forget [11]
*fade to black*
[1] out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O Lord. / Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications / if thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?
[2] while commonly said that the horses were placed upon the more famous Arc du Triomphe de l'Etoile, that arch had to be completed by wood (much like the Elephant de la Bastille) for Napoléon's wedding to Marie Louise, and was only finished in 1836. The truth is that they were placed on the arch in the Louvre's Caroussel
[3] given that Charles X's minister, the duc de Dodeauville, is her brother-in-law and Vendée general, the duc d'Aumont is her cousin, she has the connections to "protect" her staying in place
[4] the Salon Rose- next door to what would later became the Audience Room of the Empress under Eugènie- was originally modelled along the lines of Antoinette's Salle Méridienne at Versailles. So I could definitely see Madame Royal feeling "comfortable" there.
[5] it had already been agreed in April 1814 that Marie Louise would become duchess of Parma
[6] this is OTL
[7] let's face it, she's known Louis XVIII isn't the "nicest" person since her marriage. He wrung every ounce of pity he could out of forcing her to write her memoirs of the time in the Temple
[8] Josephine died (suddenly) at the end of May 1814
[9] one of the terms used for her by the Restauration court
[10] the so-called "Jacobin Blanc"
[11] this was Louis XVIII's motto OTL
May 1814
*courtyard of Les Tuileries* *we see "Monseigneur François" craning his neck up as watches the bronze horses of Saint Mark being removed from the top of the Arc du Triomphe de Caroussel [2] with his governess, Louise Charlotte de Montesquiou [3]
Monseigneur François [aka the King of Rome]: why are they doing that, Maman Quiou?
Maman Quiou: your grandfather has given the orders that the horses must be removed. To protect them.
François: protect them from what?
Quiou: the weather, Monseigneur. Copies will be made and put up.
*Salon Rose [4] of the Tuileries* *Louis XVIII is seated, talking to Madame Royal*
Footman: the most high and most powerful prince, His Royal Highness, Monsieur, Comte d'Artois. *few moments later* the most high and most powerful prince, his Serene Highness, Monseigneur le Duc d'Angoulême
Louis XVIII: *gives discreet eyeroll*
Artois: *bows and kisses his brother's hand* your Majesty. *kisses Madame Royal's hand* my most beloved daughter.
Louis XVIII: I trust there is a reason for your...rudeness, brother? *motions for them to close the doors*
Artois: I wish to know how long your Majesty wishes to continue this...farce.
Louis XVIII: what farce?
Artois: *gives him a look as though to say "you know what I'm talking about"*
Louis XVIII: you'll be relieved to hear that when we retire to Fontainebleau for the summer, the boy will not be accompanying us.
Angoulême: your Majesty wishes for him to remain in Paris, then?
Louis XVIII: he'll be sent to Rambouillet. To his mother.
Madame Royal: *vaguely disapproving* a mother whose misplacing of him led to this unfortunate scenario in the first place.
Louis XVIII: that may be, my dear. But she remains his mother.
Angoulême: then your Majesty intends to allow her to remain in France?
Louis XVIII: no. She will return to Vienna. She has already refused both mine and her father's suggestion that we seek an annulment of her marriage to Monsieur Bonaparte in order that she can remarry to your brother-
Madame Royal, Angoulême and Artois: *all look horrified at the idea*
Louis XVIII: *indifferently* it was the emperor who raised the idea. I could not refuse without risking insulting him. But it is decided that the boy will be sent to Rambouillet, and from there, he and his mother will journey to Parma [5].
Artois: *clearly irritable* your Majesty is a fool.
Louis XVIII: I have told you before, brother, I have no interest in the fortunes of our cousins in Spain- for they certainly had none in ours [6]
Artois: that is not what I speak of, your Majesty. You are willing to allow the boy to leave France?
Louis XVIII: you would have me keep him here?
Madame Royal, Angoulême and Artois: yes!
Louis XVIII: *to Madame Royal* so I should make him as your late brother? A flag for all who oppose me to wave around?
Madame Royal: *looks horrified - but not surprised - at the mention [7] of the verboten topic*
Louis XVIII: where would you suggest I keep him, brother? Vincennes? Perhaps I should allow Madame de Beauharnais [8] to take charge of his upbringing. Allow the Creole whore [9] to rear the child at Malmaison?
Angoulême: it would be safer than handing him to the Austrians, your Majesty.
Louis XVIII: to do that, I would be handing him to her protectress, the tsar. The emperor of Austria is at least...not siding with either the Orléans or Bernadotte.
Artois: that is hardly a reason to entrust him with a knife to put at our throats the minute we do something he doesn't like.
Louis XVIII: *exasperatedly* so what would you have me do with him then, brother? Perhaps- as the comte de La Bretèche suggests [10]- to have the boy disappeared like Richard the Third did to his nephews?
Artois: keep him close. Raise him here.
Louis XVIII: next you'll suggest that I give him to your pets, the Orléans, to raise
Madame Royal: *sensing the argument brewing* we'll raise him.
Louis XVIII, Artois: *both look at her in surprise*
Madame Royal: *half-sadly* perhaps this is why God decided that Louis and I cannot have children of our own...because He wishes for us to take in this child.
Louis XVIII: you are not serious, Madame, the-
Angoulême: it is time for us to do what your Majesty has always preached: unite- and forget [11]
*fade to black*
[1] out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O Lord. / Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications / if thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?
[2] while commonly said that the horses were placed upon the more famous Arc du Triomphe de l'Etoile, that arch had to be completed by wood (much like the Elephant de la Bastille) for Napoléon's wedding to Marie Louise, and was only finished in 1836. The truth is that they were placed on the arch in the Louvre's Caroussel
[3] given that Charles X's minister, the duc de Dodeauville, is her brother-in-law and Vendée general, the duc d'Aumont is her cousin, she has the connections to "protect" her staying in place
[4] the Salon Rose- next door to what would later became the Audience Room of the Empress under Eugènie- was originally modelled along the lines of Antoinette's Salle Méridienne at Versailles. So I could definitely see Madame Royal feeling "comfortable" there.
[5] it had already been agreed in April 1814 that Marie Louise would become duchess of Parma
[6] this is OTL
[7] let's face it, she's known Louis XVIII isn't the "nicest" person since her marriage. He wrung every ounce of pity he could out of forcing her to write her memoirs of the time in the Temple
[8] Josephine died (suddenly) at the end of May 1814
[9] one of the terms used for her by the Restauration court
[10] the so-called "Jacobin Blanc"
[11] this was Louis XVIII's motto OTL
ladies and gentlemen, I'm happy to see that perhaps the Reichstadt - verse is reality !, now only one thing remains to be clarified, is Frankie a Gallifreyan or not ? 🤨🤪, Anyway this is a real little gem, who knows what Francois can actually do, away from the suffocating maximum security prison-style surveillance created by Klemens especially for him, although I hope he ends up having an adventure abroad in the future, perhaps to Greece, which was one of his father's biggest regrets 😇
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Neat! We get a young ATL Frankie tl here!
(And Madame Royale gets a child 🥹 - Most important)
(And Madame Royale gets a child 🥹 - Most important)
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...now I'm imagining a Josephine Lives scenario where she takes in Napoleon II. Not sure how well that would work--Napoleon seemed to hope that his ex-wife and his new wife would become fast friends (which just goes to show that he never understood women; honestly, sometimes Napoleon came off as borderline autistic), and arranged for Josephine to meet the King of Rome once when he was an infant--do we know what her actual sentiments toward the child "who cost her so many tears" were?
But the point about that, de facto, putting him under the Tsar's 'protection' is valid. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
But the point about that, de facto, putting him under the Tsar's 'protection' is valid. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
She remarked- per the anecdote- "you, Monseigneur, are the son of my sacrifice". Marie Louise threw an absolute hissy fit about the meeting when she heard.
As the Nicholas Nickleby line goes: family is not those with whom you share your blood. its those for whom you will spill your blood.
Was a mood
In a good way I hope.
Glad you approve.
Probably not. Am tempted to go in a completely different direction here if I continue. After all, while Nappy will likely have a reaction to this news, its gonna be very difficult for a Terreur Blanche type wave to take effect when the "head" of who you support is "adopting" the son of the man your victims support. Plus, whats Louvel's excuse for murdering Berri gonna be here?
Who knows indeed😜
Or Poland, which was what Frankie wanted OTL
ATL Frankie gets raised by a surviving Josephine. Marie Louise occasionally gets out of Neipperg's bed to complain about that, to which Josephine replies, "well, I needed a son, and I noticed that you weren't using the one you had."
But as to this scenario, I do think think Napoleon might eventually warm up to this outcome, of his son raised by the Bourbons. Given that his father-in-law had betrayed him, he might prefer the outspoken foe to the honorless Hapsburgs. Particularly if the British rub it in his face (so at least he knows the kid's alive).
Oddly enough, that sounds strangely plausible. But I suspect that Josephine will be viewed as "grandma" rather than "mama"
I agree, both Hortense and Eugene had children older than Frankie
although a "power struggle" between Hortense - Frankie's godmother- and Madame Royal could be fun to see
Because Hortense was- essentially- the only one of the Bonapartes to land on her feet (in France) after Napoléon's abdication. She was allowed to inherit her mother's chateaux at Malmaison and Évreux, and she received the title of duchesse de Saint-Leu (taken from the prince de Condé's estates IIRC), plus an annuity of 50 or 500 thousand francs. This wasn't something Louis XVIII could just overturn either, since it was one of Napoléon's conditions at the Congress of Châtillon and on his abdication. Best Louis XVIII could do was to essentially "blacklist" her from court. Hortense noted on the 100 Days, when she arrived at the Tuileries, that "I am greeted as your Majesty today by people who would not even acknowledge me as "Madame Bonaparte" yesterday".
Plus, there was the whole "record" of the Beauharnais clan at the French court. The family had given Louis XV/Louis XVI repeated headaches by claiming higher rank/rights than they had. It was part of the reason for their frequent indebtedness (their ambitions didn't match their incomes), because they were slapped with fines and constantly involved in lawsuits attempting to overturn those fines. The family was blacklisted even before the Revolution- why Josephine was never presented at court, as the wife of a vicomte she should've had the pleasure as well as the source of Alexandre's rancour (although he caused a lot of it himself with his own lawsuits).
Only Master of Half an Island [1]
Soundtrack: Rossini - Overture to Elisabetta, Regina d'Inghelterra [1]
*Portoferraio* *in a study* *Napoléon is eating when his secretary, Méneval arrives with the mail*
Napoléon: *mouth half full of chicken* what news have we from Europe, Méneval? *wipes fingers on napkin*
Méneval: it seems that her Majesty, the Empress, will not be joining you, sire.
Napoléon: will not? Or cannot?
Méneval: it seems that she has been...delayed at Aix-les-Bains...while travelling to join you [2]
Napoléon: she is taken ill? My son is ill?
Méneval: not that I am aware, sire. In fact, from the intelligence I have on him, he is quite well, sir- Simply that there were some...unforeseen circumstances that have rendered her unable to travel further.
Napoléon: but she will send my son on to join me? The kings of Europe cannot be so cruel, surely.
Méneval: if they show themselves to be such, sire, then it simply proves what all of Europe has known all along.
Napoléon: if Jérôme had just done what I'd told him, taken control of the situation and headed for Brittany instead of following her to Rambouillet like a spaniel [3], they should at least be out of the hands of the enemy.
Méneval: in regards to family business, sire...there are letters from both the Princess Borghese and the duchesse de Navarre.
Napoléon: what does Pauline want?
Méneval: *reading through letter* she wishes to be allowed to join you in your new kingdom, sire.
Napoléon: *frowns* so my sister and my wife are the only ones who care enough to share my life now that I am no longer powerful?
Méneval: *reading further* it seems that the king of Spain has retired to Switzerland. He believes it more prudent to "be discreet"-
Napoléon: *curses Joseph out* discretion...always discretion with him.
Méneval: *nods* the grand duchess of Tuscany is travelling to meet the empress at Aix, so perhaps it can be hoped that she too will join us?
Napoléon: *makes an unconvinced noise* send a response to Pauline that she may join us if she so wishes. Then send a letter to the rest of my siblings and call them all a bunch of disgusting cowards.
Méneval: *nods*
Napoléon: and Josephine?
Méneval: *opens other letter* she trusts that your Majesty is well. She herself has just recovered from a chill. She thanks your Majesty for what you have done for Eugène and Hortense [4]. *clearly summing up* further news of the family. The king of Holland is in Rome- with Lucien and your mother- and he is demanding that Hortense send their sons to him.
Napoléon: where are the boys now?
Méneval: with their mother in France.
Napoléon: *clearly pensive* in the letter to Louis, tone down the language...but tell him that his sons would be best to remain in France for now.
Méneval: sire?
Napoléon: to remove them will bring difficulties for both Josephine and Hortense. It will look like we do not trust them any more than they do not trust us.
Méneval: and we trust them?
Napoléon: not as far as I can spit. But I would rather have my nephews raised in France than by my dolt of a brother in Rome. No doubt that like Lucien, he is kissing the pope's arse already.
Méneval: does your Majesty wish me to put that in the letter?
Napoléon: no. Because to kiss the pope's arse is the same as to kiss nobody's arse [5]
Méneval: *nods* *returns to reading the letter* her Majesty, the duchesse would also like to request permission to join you...just as soon as she has recovered completely [6]
Napoléon: it sounds like a farce by Goldoni, Méneval. One master, two wives-
Méneval: do not forget that the Countess Walewska is also due shortly, sire
Napoléon: if Josephine is here, Marie [Louise] will not join me. Of that I can be sure. So for now, you may write to her Majesty and inform her that she is to remain in Paris- or at Évreux- whichever she prefers
Méneval: *nods* *reads further* ah...there is a post-script. Her Majesty wishes to tell you that unforeseen circumstances require her to remain at Malmaison.
Napoléon: unforeseen circumstances keeping my wife at Aix. Unforeseen circumstances causing Josephine to remain in Paris. Is all of my family just blind or is it simply because they are useless at planning.
Méneval: it concerns your son, sire.
Napoléon: my son? *confused* Josephine? You mean Eugène?
Méneval: I mean the king of Rome, sire
Napoléon: what does that have to do with Josephine's unexpected circumstance
Méneval: *hands over letter with "you better read this yourself" look*
Napoléon: *scanning through letter to post-script*
Josephine v/o: It is my sincerest regret to inform your Majesty that due to some confusion, the king of Rome's carriage was separated from his mother's on the road to Rambouillet. It was intercepted by the soldiers of the king of France and Navarre and the young king has been returned to Paris. At present, I am assured by Tsar Alexander, Prince Talleyrand, Maréchal Ney and others loyal to your Majesty, as to his continued good health while he remains at the Tuileries-
Napoléon: *his face blanching* under the tender care of her Royal Highness, the duchesse d'Angoulême
*fade to black*
[1] reference to the description given of Elizabeth I by Pope Sixtus V "see how well she governs...only mistress of half an island and yet she makes herself feared by Spain, by France, by the Empire, by all". To anyone who points out that the overture is actually that to the more famous Barber of Seville, you're right (Barber was actually it's third recycling, having originally been written for Aureliano in Palmira (1813). Rossini's attempt to write a Tudor opera flopped- mostly due to its premiere audience being in Naples. With an opera based around a "bastard usurper" triumphing over Mary, Queen of Scots, ancestress of the Borbone line, one can kinda understand why it was the quadruple word score of "wrong plot, to the wrong crowd at the wrong time, by the wrong composer" (Rossini was a protege of Eugene de Beauharnais*). The overture (and more than a few numbers (including Rosina's famous "Una Voce poco Fa", originally written for Elizabeth) was hurriedly recycled in 1816 for Barber. Then again, given that the theatre impressario had Rossini "imprisoned" in an attic with several burly thugs and a bowl of pasta to force him to finish the score for Barber's premiere. One can excuse Rossini's recycling.
*he single-handedly engineered that the composer managed to draft dodge and avoid freezing to death in the retreat from Moscow.
[2] aka where she met Neipperg
[3] these were Napoléon's orders OTL. Not sure why he thought that arch-Catholic and arch-royalist Brittany that had given him so many problems down the years would be a good idea, but I can only assume he intended for her to go into exile? If so? Where? America? Britain?
[4] Napoléon tried- as best he could- at the Congress of Chatillon, to provide for Eugène and Hortense. Hortense was to receive an allowance and be left unbothered in France (Louis XVIII bestowed the duchy of Saint-Leu and an annual pension of 400 000 francs on her). For Eugène, he tried to insist that he be allowed to retain his position in Italy (at best) or be granted a sort of "retirement" to inherit Josephine's duchy of Navarre in France when she died. Both were categorically refused
[5] actually what he said OTL
[6] inspired by @Belisarius II 's unfinished TL
*Portoferraio* *in a study* *Napoléon is eating when his secretary, Méneval arrives with the mail*
Napoléon: *mouth half full of chicken* what news have we from Europe, Méneval? *wipes fingers on napkin*
Méneval: it seems that her Majesty, the Empress, will not be joining you, sire.
Napoléon: will not? Or cannot?
Méneval: it seems that she has been...delayed at Aix-les-Bains...while travelling to join you [2]
Napoléon: she is taken ill? My son is ill?
Méneval: not that I am aware, sire. In fact, from the intelligence I have on him, he is quite well, sir- Simply that there were some...unforeseen circumstances that have rendered her unable to travel further.
Napoléon: but she will send my son on to join me? The kings of Europe cannot be so cruel, surely.
Méneval: if they show themselves to be such, sire, then it simply proves what all of Europe has known all along.
Napoléon: if Jérôme had just done what I'd told him, taken control of the situation and headed for Brittany instead of following her to Rambouillet like a spaniel [3], they should at least be out of the hands of the enemy.
Méneval: in regards to family business, sire...there are letters from both the Princess Borghese and the duchesse de Navarre.
Napoléon: what does Pauline want?
Méneval: *reading through letter* she wishes to be allowed to join you in your new kingdom, sire.
Napoléon: *frowns* so my sister and my wife are the only ones who care enough to share my life now that I am no longer powerful?
Méneval: *reading further* it seems that the king of Spain has retired to Switzerland. He believes it more prudent to "be discreet"-
Napoléon: *curses Joseph out* discretion...always discretion with him.
Méneval: *nods* the grand duchess of Tuscany is travelling to meet the empress at Aix, so perhaps it can be hoped that she too will join us?
Napoléon: *makes an unconvinced noise* send a response to Pauline that she may join us if she so wishes. Then send a letter to the rest of my siblings and call them all a bunch of disgusting cowards.
Méneval: *nods*
Napoléon: and Josephine?
Méneval: *opens other letter* she trusts that your Majesty is well. She herself has just recovered from a chill. She thanks your Majesty for what you have done for Eugène and Hortense [4]. *clearly summing up* further news of the family. The king of Holland is in Rome- with Lucien and your mother- and he is demanding that Hortense send their sons to him.
Napoléon: where are the boys now?
Méneval: with their mother in France.
Napoléon: *clearly pensive* in the letter to Louis, tone down the language...but tell him that his sons would be best to remain in France for now.
Méneval: sire?
Napoléon: to remove them will bring difficulties for both Josephine and Hortense. It will look like we do not trust them any more than they do not trust us.
Méneval: and we trust them?
Napoléon: not as far as I can spit. But I would rather have my nephews raised in France than by my dolt of a brother in Rome. No doubt that like Lucien, he is kissing the pope's arse already.
Méneval: does your Majesty wish me to put that in the letter?
Napoléon: no. Because to kiss the pope's arse is the same as to kiss nobody's arse [5]
Méneval: *nods* *returns to reading the letter* her Majesty, the duchesse would also like to request permission to join you...just as soon as she has recovered completely [6]
Napoléon: it sounds like a farce by Goldoni, Méneval. One master, two wives-
Méneval: do not forget that the Countess Walewska is also due shortly, sire
Napoléon: if Josephine is here, Marie [Louise] will not join me. Of that I can be sure. So for now, you may write to her Majesty and inform her that she is to remain in Paris- or at Évreux- whichever she prefers
Méneval: *nods* *reads further* ah...there is a post-script. Her Majesty wishes to tell you that unforeseen circumstances require her to remain at Malmaison.
Napoléon: unforeseen circumstances keeping my wife at Aix. Unforeseen circumstances causing Josephine to remain in Paris. Is all of my family just blind or is it simply because they are useless at planning.
Méneval: it concerns your son, sire.
Napoléon: my son? *confused* Josephine? You mean Eugène?
Méneval: I mean the king of Rome, sire
Napoléon: what does that have to do with Josephine's unexpected circumstance
Méneval: *hands over letter with "you better read this yourself" look*
Napoléon: *scanning through letter to post-script*
Josephine v/o: It is my sincerest regret to inform your Majesty that due to some confusion, the king of Rome's carriage was separated from his mother's on the road to Rambouillet. It was intercepted by the soldiers of the king of France and Navarre and the young king has been returned to Paris. At present, I am assured by Tsar Alexander, Prince Talleyrand, Maréchal Ney and others loyal to your Majesty, as to his continued good health while he remains at the Tuileries-
Napoléon: *his face blanching* under the tender care of her Royal Highness, the duchesse d'Angoulême
*fade to black*
[1] reference to the description given of Elizabeth I by Pope Sixtus V "see how well she governs...only mistress of half an island and yet she makes herself feared by Spain, by France, by the Empire, by all". To anyone who points out that the overture is actually that to the more famous Barber of Seville, you're right (Barber was actually it's third recycling, having originally been written for Aureliano in Palmira (1813). Rossini's attempt to write a Tudor opera flopped- mostly due to its premiere audience being in Naples. With an opera based around a "bastard usurper" triumphing over Mary, Queen of Scots, ancestress of the Borbone line, one can kinda understand why it was the quadruple word score of "wrong plot, to the wrong crowd at the wrong time, by the wrong composer" (Rossini was a protege of Eugene de Beauharnais*). The overture (and more than a few numbers (including Rosina's famous "Una Voce poco Fa", originally written for Elizabeth) was hurriedly recycled in 1816 for Barber. Then again, given that the theatre impressario had Rossini "imprisoned" in an attic with several burly thugs and a bowl of pasta to force him to finish the score for Barber's premiere. One can excuse Rossini's recycling.
*he single-handedly engineered that the composer managed to draft dodge and avoid freezing to death in the retreat from Moscow.
[2] aka where she met Neipperg
[3] these were Napoléon's orders OTL. Not sure why he thought that arch-Catholic and arch-royalist Brittany that had given him so many problems down the years would be a good idea, but I can only assume he intended for her to go into exile? If so? Where? America? Britain?
[4] Napoléon tried- as best he could- at the Congress of Chatillon, to provide for Eugène and Hortense. Hortense was to receive an allowance and be left unbothered in France (Louis XVIII bestowed the duchy of Saint-Leu and an annual pension of 400 000 francs on her). For Eugène, he tried to insist that he be allowed to retain his position in Italy (at best) or be granted a sort of "retirement" to inherit Josephine's duchy of Navarre in France when she died. Both were categorically refused
[5] actually what he said OTL
[6] inspired by @Belisarius II 's unfinished TL